I’m A Plus Size… So What?

Bag over head

For few the last few weeks Emma has been pleading politely asking for a mummy/daughter trip to the local swimming pool. Now for those of you who know me, you’ll be well aware there’s two awkward issues with this scenario…

1: I’ve got all the wrong curves in all the wrong places.

2: I have the morale of a prize winning Turkey come December.

Therefore the thought of waddling around a public pool area encased in lyrca doesn’t exactly fill me with enthusiasm – instead it inflates me with fear. However as Steve’s swimming style is more akin to ‘graceless-sinking’, it was pretty obvious that it was time for me to ‘wo-man up’ as any fun-loving & responsible parent would do *groan*

The irony of it is, swimming’s (without a shadow of a doubt) my favourite form of exercise. Just looking at a bright blue pool makes me want to strip down to my undies and jump right in. In fact two years ago I lost almost 5 stone by swimming three times a week. I was dedicated, focused and more active than I’d been in years. However before you start typing enthusiastic comments of congratulations, I’ve *ashamedly* put every single ounce back on again *bangs head against wall*

It’s not that my food intake needs completely readjusting – quite the opposite in fact. I eat (relatively) healthy:  no processed foods whatsoever, lots of fresh veg, fruit… okay, maybe the occasional sweet & savoury treat. It’s the lack of exercise and activity that’s been the culprit for my expanding derriere. Sitting in front of a computer all day doesn’t help nor does working from home were the temptation to nibble on ‘a few’ cheeky chocolate hobnobs is unyielding.

Swimming is the only form of exercise that has ever really worked for me, simply because it’s the only one I’m reeeeeeallly good at. Regardless of my size, I can swim like a fish and clock up an impressive number of lengths in no time. Yes, it would seem I’m the human equivalent to a modern day container ship… big, bulky but can shift in water! So why aren’t I doing more of it?

Well, its that teeny tiny thing called self-confidence. I can’t stash it in the trash or bury it in a box under the bed; instead it just lingers around like a brewing storm on the horizon – always ready to rain on my happiness parade. However on Friday morning I broke out my brolly, clad myself in a bathing suit, packed my redundant gym bag, inhaled the deepest of breaths and set off for the pool with a VERY excited 9 year old in tow. My nerves were jangling and palms were sweaty as I raced over a list of fears in my head. My only comfort being that I’d plucked and preened all ‘vital bits’ a few days prior. Apologies if I’ve conjured any harrowing visions of hair removal.

Fear No 1: The Receptionist

As I screeched to a halt outside the leisure centre I knew there was no turning back. I’d gotten as far as the front doors and of course Emma was already in a frenzy with excitement. There was no opportunity for ‘Sorry sweetheart, the pool’s closed today as the maintenance man is fixing a leak’. We had arrived & we were going in!

Walking through the door I braced myself for a chorus of raised eyebrows, strained necks and awkward glances. Thankfully there was only a few senior citizens perched in the seating area reading a selection of leisure brochures. ‘Must be grandparents…’ I thought to myself as mental alarm bells began to ring, highlighting that there must be an entire pool full of water-wing wielding juveniles ready to erupt into ‘Ewwwwwwwww’s’ once I make an appearance.’

Thankfully the receptionist brought me back to earth with her friendly smile and chirpy welcome. “One adult & a child?” she enquired. No sneers, no eye rolls at passing colleagues, no chortles at my impending despair. Hmmm, she’s good. Clearly practising her amateur dramatic skills at my expense. I smiled, took our tickets and proceeded to the dreaded changing rooms…

Fear No 2: The Changing Room Attendant

In our local swimming pool you have to hand your receipt over to what is effectively a ‘gatekeeper of the pool portal’ – all sounds a bit Harry Potterish but don’t let the visions of mystic & wonder fool you. This is usually a perfectly preened human that resembles something from a Victoria’s Secret campaign or an extra from Magic Mike. Today (of all days) the changing room attendant was male and not hard on the eyes either ladies, hehe *cheeky grin* As I braced myself for an all over eye scan I was aghast to find he was actually incredibly cordial… and kept his eyes firmly on mine.

“Do you have a locker token? There’s a spare one here you can use.” He said, taking me by surprise. I may have blushed, mumbled and shook my head in response. He smiled at Emma “Enjoy your swim little lady!”

Little lady? Hmmm. Was that a size reference to the looming lump of meat that was towering beside this poor 9 year old child? That was definitely size-ist dig, right?! It was, wasn’t it? I shall not be fooled by his warm eyes, helpful tone and friendly charisma *hmmpf*

Fear No 3: Baring All

Oh Lordie Lord. This is the bit I was dreading above all… removing the outer layers and baring my lycra-clad wobbly bits to the world. Emma was standing in her swim costume ready to go as I was still fumbling with the laces on my Converse. As I peered out through the changing room doors all seemed quiet, the coast was clear – a straight jaunt to the lockers and then the final journey of making it into the pool. *cue mass panic*

All was going well until a middle aged couple turned the corner, almost colliding into me.

“Oops, sorry” the guy smiled as his drenched other half fumbled with her locker key “The waters’ lovely, enjoy your dip.”

I grinned and darted off round the corner with Em’s in quick succession. Feck, that was close.

Fear No 4: Taking The Plunge

There it was, as bold as brass. A glorious body of warm chlorine tinged water, playfully inviting me to throw all caution to the wind and jump right in. As Emma tiptoed ahead waving me on towards the pool steps, I inhaled and prepared myself for the anticipated gasps of shock & horror. ‘Just keep walking – you’re almost there’ I repeated in my head.

Instead of easing down the steps I quickly sat down at the pools edge and plopped myself into the water. It was the quickest way – like ripping off a sticky plaster. Keeping my eyes low, I lifted my gaze to expect the gawping faces of innocent swimmers in awe at my portly appearance. Yet there was nothing. No one had so much as blinked an eye lid. The lifeguard was chatting to another colleague, a handful of kids were busy splashing and having fun, even the couple of folk scattered on the viewing gallery seats didn’t appear to be shielding their eyes in fright. Surely my experience couldn’t be this pain-free?!

Fear No 5: The School Kids

After 17 lengths of teaching my little water-baby how to kick and use her paddle board the entire length of the pool (without her arm bands even in the deep end *mega proud Em’s moment*) it was time to give our wrinkly digits a break and hit the showers. However just as Emma and I emerged from the water, a crowd of gabbling school kids appeared from the changing areas. Bracing myself for hoards of youngsters pointing at a me like some sort of wild beast, they carried on chatting excitedly not taking any notice of me at all. Surely this was the perfect opportunity for the class clown to exercise his overconfident attitude. What’s wrong? I couldn’t be…. *gasp* …normal?!

The reality of it is, by the time Emma and I were both safely back in the confines of the car something rather obvious dawned on me. Every single fear I had conjured up remained a figment of my imagination. Not one of my panic-stricken thoughts evolved into reality. Most importantly, I’d spent a mega fun morning with my little girl, doing something we both love together.

I know it may seem a pretty ridiculous fear for some, but exposing something I’m so utterly self-conscious off is terrifying. There’s a reason I never have bare arms on show, wear tight tops or skinny jeans. I don’t want the world to take notice of the curves I try so hard to conceal.

Now before any of you go waving your virtual fists of fury at what may seem like a lack of respect for the larger female form, hold up! In no way do I intend to disrespect anyone of any shape or size – in fact I wholeheartedly admire girls who are proud of their curves and flaunt them with pride. I wish I had that dose of self-esteem, but I don’t. I’m just not happy with me. Not you. ME.

One thing my swimming trip has taught me is how damaging fear can be. It can hold you back from getting on with enjoying your life, and even hold you back from getting healthy. Body confidence (or lack of) regardless of what shape or size you are, can be a real hindrance to happiness… mix that with fear and you have a potent cocktail that could drown out any traces of self-esteem. Every anxious, taunting and judgemental thought I had was my own making. No one else’s…

 Okay, I’m a plus size, SO what? Never again will I allow my size the power to define me… life’s too short to hide in the shadows. And guess what? I’ve another swim scheduled for this week too 😉

pink heart

Do you suffer from body-image blues? How do you deal with your bare-it-all fears?

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. As always, thanks for stopping by! Don’t forget to say hi in the comments below – you all know by now how much I enjoy a good chatter 🙂

Cheerio Chums…

 Karen signature

115 thoughts on “I’m A Plus Size… So What?

      • Thank you Karen. Have a fab week too.
        Btw I followed your advice and did my own 15 questions tag……was so much fun😊. If you have a few free minutes stop by and let me know what u think xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah I never got a notification that u were following me either. Thank you thou😀.
        Maybe it’s playing up for some reason…….I don’t do technology lol x

        Liked by 1 person

      • That is very bizarre – funnily I spent the last 10 minutes scrolling down my reader looking for your post to no avail!!!! lol Check to see if you get a follow notification this time… I’m not a techy either huni so we’re both in the lurch lol lol XXXX

        Liked by 1 person

      • This time I got a notification but never got one before unless it was of a new comment u made. Very strange.
        Now we won’t miss each others posts again😀 xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’ve noticed on my comments that sometimes when I hit the like button it flashes on and off again – I have to give it a couple of clicks to make sure it works… I’m guessing it’s done the same as I clicked the follow tab on the little black band on the browser bar as opposed to below the profile pic. Might be the issue?! Who knows, at least now I won’t have to go hunting for you – you’ll be on my reader *hopefully* lol 😀 Xo xo

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      • Mine does that sometimes too but only when I do it through my mobile. Meh I’m not even going to try n understand why it’s happening lol……not a fan of technology.
        Look forward to reading more of ur posts.
        I’m having a writing block atm n thinking of things to write about that won’t bore people too much 😕 xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you so much lovely 🙂 Oooh no ‘Bloggers Block’ is a real pain… try having a flick through some magazines or even BlogLovin to see if any fellow bloggers posts strike an interest with you 🙂 Otherwise shut off your computer and clear your mind!! Usually helps me when I’ve hit a hurdle in writing… oddly a good walk always starts the creative juices flowing 🙂 Xo

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  1. This is a great post. I used to be so self conscious when I was younger. I got bullied in highschool up until grade 10 and I felt miserable and ugly and horrible, but then I went to live abroad for a year and everything changed. I was friends with the “hot guys” in my highschool in Canada, just because I was an nice person and fun to hang out with and that way I learned it doesn’t matter what size you are, be kind and people will like you for who you are. I know that doesn’t help when it comes to exposing yourself at a public pool, been there, done that. But I had the sa,e experience, no one even looked twice, no one cared that I felt my belly sticks out too much and my arms are too wobbly.
    I usually dress in a way that really complements my figure, so peopla actually ask me if I lost weight 😀 Luckily, I also have good friends, that tell me when I look pretty, but will also let me know, if something I am wearing doesn’t look too flattering. In the end people don’t see those 5 (or 10) kilos you wanna get rid off, they see your attitude. If you look like you love yourself and you’re kind, you’re beautiful. Not saying that curvy ladies aren’t beautiful as is. I am all for the curvy ladies, being one myself 😉
    Ok, now this is almost a blog post itself.. Hahaha. Well, I really enjoyed reading this ❤ ❤

    Liked by 4 people

    • This made me smile soooooo so much huni… very true – people relate more to a great personality! I know I do! Being a good person (above all) is so important. Looks or body image should never define us… it’s funny how sometimes the harshest people on us is ourselves. I just felt I completely kept putting myself down by continuously expecting others around me to react negatively. When it didn’t happen, it made me feel ridiculously judgemental about myself. Time to stop such a negative way of thinking – it can be so damaging! I think this calls for a virtually high five to us gorgeous gals – don’t you agree Lisa Von Lovely?! 😀 hehe
      Thanks for such kind words & for sharing your personal experiences too – comforting to know we’re never alone with these things *hugs* ❤ Xo xo

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      • Definitely woth a virtual high five! 🙂 Sometimes we just need a reminder that we’re not alone in this, but also that we do not need to put ourselves down and we’re beautiful! You are! I am! And everyone else is! WE ARE BEAUTIFUL!
        Hugs and high fives to all the beuatiful ladies out there! Especially to you, it takes a wonderful person to be so open and I really appreciate you speaking up about your own experience, giving others confidence because they aren’t alone! Keep being awesome :-*

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      • Awwwh Lisa – you really have made my day with this comment!!! You should be a motivational speaker on this subject cause you’ve me feeling better about me than I’ve done in a long while 😀 Huge hugs & high fives right back at ya ❤ Xo

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  2. Amazing post and so relatable to many girls. I’m a uk size 10 and I still feel awkward and uncomfortable about swimming or being in a bikini in front of people. It’s sad. There’s an amazing campaign in the uk though right now called This Girl Can. It’s all about trying to get girls into exercising and feeling confident no matter what their body shape. The adverts on YouTube if you’re interested, I reckon you’d really like it!! Xx

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    • Thank you so much Joanna!! 🙂 You know, I’m a UK 22/24 and when I owned a bridal shop I was utterly amazed at how many size 10 girls (and under) were incredibly paranoid about their beautiful bodies. It’s so easy to assume because someone is smaller that they immediately don’t have any issues or hang-ups about themselves. Goes to show regardless what size is hanging on our clothes labels we all have the very similar insecurities in one way or another!
      I’m soooo so so interested in the This Girl Can campaign, I’m definitely going to look that up and see what it’s all about!!! Thank you SO much for telling me about it lovely – you’re a wee gem *hugs* XO

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  3. I had such similar thoughts before going on holiday in October, hated the thought of bikinis and couldn’t find any swimsuits that were actually long enough for my tall self! After the second day out on the beach sheepishly hiding with a towel I realised that no one was looking at me and actually in a weeks time I wouldn’t see anyone again! I think lots of people must be in the same boat, whether they’ve got curves or a small chest etc, everyone has their own insecurities and swimming is defiantly a way we put them on show, even those who we seem to have to perfect bodies! X

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    • Beach holidays are always a real tester for this sort of thing are they?! However like you say, no one is going to see you after that week and most of the inhibitions are all in our head. You’re absolutely spot on – regardless of shape or size we all have something that makes us incredibly self-conscious. But the more we face our insecurities the less the become right? 😀 Thanks so much for stopping by Rachael – really enjoyed reading your comment 🙂 Have a super week ahead Xo xo

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      • Absolutely, i have a massive scar on my hip all the way down my thigh from an op as a child which as a teenager used to make me hate even wearing shorts, but the more i’ve made a joke out of it to children who asked at pools (shark attack etc) the less of an issue it’s become for me! X

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      • That is such a positive attitude and way of handling anyone asking about your scar. Children (& adults too!!!) are so inquisitive, I can understand your initial hesitations as a teenager – those years are so tender and peer pressure is immense!! Thank you for sharing that Rachael, very inspirational!!! Does it bother you as much now or do you feel confident enough to wear shorts etc without it effecting you? xo

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      • I more don’t feel confident in things like that because of my figure rather than my scar, it’s not as dark as it used to be and I barely remember it’s there! But hoping soon that will all change, I’ve lost almost a stone and a half over 6 weeks doing 5:2 and starting to feel more body confident again! Come summer I’m hoping shorts won’t feel like a challenge x

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      • Rachael that is wonderful news and such a huge achievement – well done you for doing so well in your quest to get healthy!! I’m sure by summer you’ll be rockin’ those shorts without even thinking about it huni 😀 hehe *hugs* XXXXX

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  4. This is by far my favorite post of your Karen! I like All your post, but I awfully love this one! I’m not a plus size, but I feel that this post can be used for so many things! It can be relevant to anyone’s life. It made me reflect on my life. The issue of fear, and how fear can keep us away from doing what we love. And in the end most things are just in my mind! Gosh you just made me rethink something I’ve been fearing! Thanks!

    Btw, I love your style of writing! It kept me interested til the very end!

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    • Thank you so so much for such a kind and encouraging comment Chantal – I’m delighted you enjoyed reading it so much, and regardless of shape or size, whatever the fear, facing it is the only way to overcoming it. Hiding away never helps – trust me I’ve done too much of that in the past!! Whatever you’re fearing I hope you find the strength to confront it huni ❤ Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a kind compliment Xo xo

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  5. I’m happy that you went swimming anyway and saw that your fears didn’t come true! It definitely is a fear within ourselves that we think people will be looking at us or judging us (and sometimes it does happen, but luckily usually not nearly as much as we fear it will!). I’m not a plus size but I still get self-conscious at the beach or any time I have to wear something more fitted!

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  6. Great post Karen, So glad you enjoyed your swim & have another session booked!
    It’s funny because even after loosing all my weight I still get really self concious when it comes to being in a bikini or swimming costume, I think it’s definitely more about how we perceive ourselves we seem to over think and imagine that people will think of all kinds of us when really they don’t even care! xx

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  7. This is such a great post and so relatable for me! I had to take a group of kids swimming this week, after not getting in a pool for these reasons in a couple of years. I was very very nervous but afterwards I realised I thoroughly enjoyed myself and nothing bad happened at all – it was all in my head as you’ve said! I think I’m going to start going swimming more myself now too! Thanks for sharing x

    emily x ❤ | emilyloula

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    • Thank you so much Emily – gee we really have had a similar week eh? hehe Isn’t it crazy how our imaginations can run wild?! Well done you for getting over your anxieties too, I’m sooo glad you enjoyed your dip too!!! It really is so much fun, I hope we both continue to take the plunge hehe 😀 Xo

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  8. OMGosh Karen, I have tears in my eyes! I’m so happy for you that you were able to take that step and overcome those fears! Not only did you put Emma first, but you put YOURSELF and your love of water first too! Weight is something I’ve always struggled with as well along with eating disorders and it wasn’t until I met my husband that I realized it’s okay to not be a size 2 and that I don’t have to literally starve myself to be accepted and loved. Sure, now being a size 14 (size 18 after the birth of my son) still leaves me insecure and uncertain at times, but I think that we as a society have grown and matured a lot. In fact, I think us girls judge ourselves harder than anyone else! I hope this experience gives you the extra push to start making the pool a regular part of your routine and I feel inspired myself to get out there and quit being so scared 🙂 Thank you for sharing, this was beautiful as always and very well written and funny haha but you know that 😉

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    • Awwwh Kaily thank you so much for sharing your personal struggles too huni – lack of confidence in body image can be so damaging but with the support of our great men by our side and the notion that there’s nothing to be afraid off (but our own imagination) we can definitely get out there and start enjoying things that we’ve always been too shy to tackle. Funny I’d never have thought you’d have felt so insecure about yourself huni, you always come across so confident and full of life… your videos are a treat to watch!!!!!! So good that we’ve gotten to know another little piece about each other… thank you for being such a gem. Your comment really made my day chum *huge hugs* XXXXXX

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  9. Karen, what an amazing post. I giggled several times at the lovely way you wrote this post, but ofcourse there is a serious issue which I think you explore in a wonderful way.
    I am glad to hear you have plans for another trip to the pool! You and Em should make it a regular thing, you both seem to enjoy it a lot :D. And congratulations are due to your little lady for managing the deep end without the weird arm band things 😀 Do give her a hug for me.
    lots of love Anne

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    • Awwwh Anne, what an incredibly lovely comment – my heart is melting with the support. You know what, it really was the best fun Ems & I have had in a good while – even later that evening she gave me a hug in the kitchen and thanked me again for such a fun time. I was really taken aback 🙂 Maybe she twigged on I was a tad nervous at first, but spending that time together is well worth tackling the fears head on!! Can’t wait til next time now. I think now she has the confidence to paddle without the water wings up and down the pool there’ll be no stopping her lol So glad you enjoyed the post chum, it means so much to read those encouraging words!! I shall pass on your hugs and take this opportunity to send a few your way too… *hugs* hehe

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  10. Oh my Karen! That was a great post! I know a lot of women and even men get self conscious about their bodies. It’s hard. I know to overcome. I deal with the same thing. I have a disdain for putting on a swim suit. So I never do. But, it’s about having that confidence and not caring what other people think. It’s easier said than done for sure. I think your beautiful and it’s about rocking the curves you have. When you notice youngsters in the pool, they can be brutal and intimidating, but they don’t know any better. So all in all, you’re definitely not alone at all! Emma loves you for you and I’m sure appreciates you going with her to the pool. I always think that looks aren’t that important as long as you have a good soul. Which you do! Keep rocking your fab self! Xoxo 💜 😄

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    • Oooh Leah, you’ve no idea how much your supportive comment means – just knowing that there are so many other people that have this same fear really does make me feel that little bit more ‘normal’ You’re absolutely right – it’s most certainly not all about looks. Being the best person you can be counts for everything!! I’m pretty sure little Em’s knew I was a bit nervous but she was so great at being her encouraging little self. We had such a great time – which is by far the most important thing 🙂 Thank you again for being such a gem!! Your words have really warmed my heart huni ❤ Xxxxx

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  11. Hello there my dear Karen! You’re so good at writing! I really enjoyed reading this post as I do all of your posts. I can relate to your fear of having to walk around in a bathing suit in front of other people. Seeing as I will be going to a beach soon, I will be stripping down into a bathing suit as well. I keep telling myself that I am going to look like a whale. Though then I think again, I probably will never see anyone from that beach again anyway lol. You’re so beautiful though Karen on the inside and outside. Size really shouldn’t matter and we should be thinking so what if we’re plus size. You had built up all of those fears in your head for nothing. Though I can understand how you might have felt and I will probably feel the same way when I go to the beach. I think my social anxiety probably keeps me from doing more physical activity aside from my usual pain issues. I am so happy though that you’re going back to the pool and I hope you and Emma have a lot of fun! 🙂 ❤ xoxo

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    • My beautiful wee chum – your comments never ever fail to make my heart melt!!! You are always bursting with so much encouragement and support. It’s so frightening putting ourselves in that vulnerable place but if there’s anything I’ve learned from my trip to the pool it’s simply that fear can do so much harm to prevent you from enjoying life and making the most out of having fun. Just because we are curvy girls doesn’t mean to say we aren’t entitled to enjoy life!!! I really was terrified of what others would think but knowing that my little girl wanted to spend time with me really encouraged me to bite the bullet. I know you are going to have a wonderful time at the beach – you really do deserve this trip so so SO much, whatever you do, don’t let your fears/insecurities/anxiety control your ability to enjoy the day. Trust me, no one will bother to notice – you’re a stunning girl both inside and out. Ron is a very blessed guy having you by his side – but I’m sure and certain he knows this only too well ❤ Thank you again for your awesome support & really just for being you!!!!!!! 😀 XXXXXXXX

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      • Awe Karen!! I must say that YOUR comments never fail to make my heart melt! You ALWAYS know just what to say! I bet your daughter really enjoys spending time with you and you two seem to have such a great relationship which is wonderful. I always loved spending time with my Mom too and still do. I will not let my fears or anxiety ruin anything about this trip for me, don’t worry! I just can’t wait till we go and I can get out of here for a little while. You’re words are always so sweet and so kind! ❤ Thank you so much for your encouragement and support and for you being you! 😀 XXXXXXXXX

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      • So so welcome Katie 🙂 I think we both put a little smile on each others faces huni ❤ I'm so excited for you, I'm sure you can't wait to get your beach goodies all packed hehe Thanks so much once again for the wonderful comments – you're a star!!!! Xo xo

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  12. I don’t think anyone doesn’t have body issues! I’m planning on starting a diet/ healthy eating regime when I move because I don’t feel comfortable in body con or a bikini. If you’ve found an exercise you love then working out is nowhere near a chore! Here’s to a healthier us in the coming months 😊 x

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    • You hit the nail on the head Rach!!!!! Exercise has failed for me in the past because I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I do swimming – I literally LOVE it!!! Even the smell of the Chlorine gets me in a fitness frenzy lol You’re so right, we all have inhibitions about our bodies… it’s just making sure we don’t let those fears hold us back from enjoying life. I think a virtual *high five* is in order for us huni 😉 haha Thanks so much for stopping by – have a super week Xo

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  13. You are absolutely gorgeous lady! Who cares if you have some extra pounds hanging around! We all do! And literally no one is looking at you like you think when you go swimming. Even the skinniest of girls have body confidence issues too and don’t like certain things about their bodies.
    I wish I could just make everyone love themselves! Ughh😔

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  14. You are far too beautiful! In the nicest possible way, people are so self-centred and interests in their own lives, that actually they don’t care about people around them. I don’t mean that in a nasty and horrible way – truth be told all those demons were in your mind and I bet everyone in that pool had a similar worry at some point too 😘 xxx

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    • You know Natalie you’re so very very true huni!!!! Everyone does have their own confidence battles at some stage, regardless of shape or size. I just wish so many more people had your understanding nature 🙂 Glad to finally shake those demons – next time I go back I won’t be anywhere near as nervous!! Thank you sweetie for such a kind comment, you really are a wee star ❤ XXXXXX

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  15. Wow Karen – this is such a witty, inspiring and well-written post! Well done! We all have those body hang ups, no matter what your size! I’m a size 10/12/sometimes 14 (Damn you H&M jeans!), and I would definitely say I’m not happy with my body. However, I’m learning to love those parts of me that I am less confident about. It takes a lot to see your body from the outside perspective – and that perspective tends to be, in reality, very indifferent! We’re so consumed with our own thoughts and fears of our body that we begin to think everyone will judge how we look, when frankly no one really cares! WOOO for the ‘whatever’ attitude!! Such a beautiful post, Karen – pleased to see you’re getting all the likes and positive comments that you deserve! xx
    http://www.beautyandmi.wordpress.com

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    • Awwwh Mimi thank you huni, your supportive words are hugely appreciated – you’ve made me smile so so much 🙂 You’re spot on, it’s all about learning to live (& love) those those parts that we aren’t confident about – as most of the time it’s our own negative attitude that holds us back so much, not anyone elses!!! Sure there’s always going to be those who judge, sneer & are generally darn right nasty, but I think the more you shrug it off and learn to accept yourself ‘just as you are’ really puts a halt to that negativity. Confidence shines through so much & is often contagious!! Thank you so very much for being so encouraging huni, and for stopping by to sahre your kind thoughts ❤ Xo xo xo

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    • Can’t thank you enough Laura – what an amazing compliment!!!! I’m delighted you enjoyed it so much huni, wishing you a wonderful week – thanks again for being so darn supportive 🙂 ❤ Xo

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  16. I was exact same as you . .
    This time last year I was in Australia for 3 weeks & was in a flap about being in my swim suit on beaches packed full of bronzed models . .
    My legs look like corned beef basically . . But I said feck it,
    who are these people I’m so worried about seeing me?! I don’t know them!
    Am I going to see them again?
    Nope . .
    So, Shorts & tshirt off & I spent my 3 weeks splashing about & never thought about it again . . 🏊🏊🏊

    So give yourself a ginormous pat on your back !!!!
    Baby steps . . And look! You’ve already took them!! 😊
    You should be exceptionally proud of yourself ladybird!!
    You did amazing!!
    😚 👍👍👍👏👏👏👏 xO

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m wearing the biggest smile right now Maria *beeeeam* 😀 Firstly, well done you for baring your beautiful corn beef legs… I know the effects of being Irish on a beach full of bronzed babes!!! hehe Seriously though, well done for having that confidence and not allowing your inhibitions to ruin your holiday. I need to take a few more leaves from your book!! This swim is the just the first step… never again will I let the fear get so bad that it controls my life. Baby steps all the way huni!! Thank you for sharing your story and of course for leaving such an awesome comment, much appreciated *huge hugs* ❤ Xo xo xo

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  17. I really enjoyed this post, it’s always nice seeing people overcoming something or realizing what works for them! And I love swimming too… Probably the best and most fun workout 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, delighted you enjoyed it so much – it’s always inspiring overcoming a fear and if it helps others to face theirs too then I’m all for sharing 😀 Isn’t swimming great?! I agree – soooo much fun! Xo xo

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  18. Oh Karen this is me in the summers with my children begging me to take them to our swim club. I’m also plus sized and I worry about what others think of me in my swimwear. It’s so silly how we let the fear or judgement from perfect strangers ruin our time or stop us from doing things we love based on what we think of ourselves. Sometimes we just need to muster up the courage and just go for it. Good for your daughter to push you to go, otherwise you wouldn’t have and realize that a lot of this was just you’re own thoughts, the people you encountered are indeed not out to get you. 🙂 I’m just going to say its ok for us curvy ladies to go to the pool!! hehe There’s lots of us who will be there to greet you with a smile and say the water is just fine. 🙂

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    • You know Jen you are 100% – if it wasn’t for Emma pushing me to go I probably wouldn’t have bothered simply because of the fear. It’s so much easier to hide in the shadows that face something that take a little bit of courage… at the same time I think to myself ‘what on earth was all the fuss about?!’ Okay I might have more wobbly bits than most but at least I’m giving it a go and trying. Thank you so so much for such a kind and encouraging comment huni – and of course for sharing your story too!!! I’m genuinely amazed at how many people have left comments about how conscious they are about their own inhibitions – it’s great to know that so many of my gorgeous blog buddies understand. It always helps to feel less alone in these situations 😀 So when summer comes and you’re breaking out that swim suit keep me in mind…. I’ll be right there with you in spirit flaunting the curves huni lol Xo

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  19. Somehow fear can hold us back from our true potential. All of your worries were imaginary and once you faced your fears things ended up ok. I often find myself in the same state.

    Your post was very entertaining and has a great message. I hope you will continue to swim and get a confidence boost while doing something you love. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I’ve heard the saying “we are our own worst critics” and it’s so true. Sometimes we’re so focus on our flaws that we let them stop us and other people don’t even notice them because they’re focus on their own. I’m glad that you won’t criticize yourself so harshly anymore and start enjoying something that you love 🙂 awesome post!

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    • You’re absolutely right – we really are our own worst critics, which is so very sad!! To think I valued myself so low and had such a low expectations of others attitude towards me was just mega disappointing!! Time for a good shake and reminder that I’ll never let fear control my thoughts in such a negative way again! Time to enjoy life 🙂 Thank you for your kind words – so encouraging ❤ Xo

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  21. Great post, Karen, really enjoyed it. I too am a plus size, and last year I found a lovely little local privately owned swimming pool where there are only ever a couple of other ladies swimming at the same time as me, and often nobody else at all. I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oooh Caroline that sounds amazing!!! There’s a private pool a few miles from where I live but you have to book weeks in advance and they’re very strict on arrival/departure times (understandable if booked to the hilt) The public pool is always a little more daunting with the volume of people but glad I braved it in the end 😀 Thank you so much for such a lovely comment, so glad you enjoyed reading it Xo

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    • Hey Kelli, thank you so so much for such a supportive comment – hugely appreciated huni! Just checked out your blog and I love it – really looking forward to reading! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting 🙂 Karen XO

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